I love music mixes, especially ones with themes. I just don't like them so much when they're made specifically for me with a romantic theme in mind. And I really don't like it when there is a song in the mix that's highlighted as being 'so [me]', because invariably it is a song that makes me wonder about the person who made the mix, and not in a good way, and also makes me wonder about myself, as in "I wonder what the hell I saw in him" way.
I know it sounds a little harsh; after all, here is some poor guy pouring his heart out through some (I am sure) painstakingly chosen song and lyrics and basically all I can think is how stupid the choice is. It's not that I am displease or offended by the choice, even when it's not really complimentary (you'll see in a minute) but that I think of all the songs in world (including all those amazing biting ones that could really stick it to me, if that's what the person was passively aggressively going for) which could have been picked and then it's like, that's what made the cut?
So, for your amusement, I present the top three worst songs lovingly addressed to me, all from my college years. God, college boys are stupid.
She's Always A Woman - Billy Joel
Okay, so I know for a fact that my then boyfriend N. was completely unaware that Billy wrote this about his ex-wife not so much as a compliment, but as a way to defend her against the allegations that she was too controlling of a manager for him. I do think he picked up on the undertone of 'poor, poor me, stuck with a strong, opinionated woman, whom I cling to nonetheless', though, which pretty much described the undertone of our relationship. Why I did not immediately end things after hearing this on the tape he handed me, I'll never know.
It did make cheating on him a hell of whole lot easier, though.
Killerqueen - Queen
Now, there is nothing actually wrong with the song itself; in fact, it is one of my favorite Queen songs and it's where my personal e-mail id and 'handle' in college (and, subsequently, my nickname among some of my closer college friends) came from--something that not a lot of people knew about. What pissed me off is that the boy (and he was so nice and cute, too) who put this on the tape was merely trying to pretend to have an 'in' with me, with no regard to the actual lyrics. This, more or less, is how the exchange went between us, when he wanted to know what I thought of the tape:
"Well, the last song on the B side was definitely interesting."
"Hey, you are the original killerqueen to me!"
"Soooo, this is me, how you see me, then?"
"Well, yeah."
"I'm an high class whore?"
"What?!"
"You're saying I'm an expensive slut?"
"I don't understand..."
I'll spare you the rest of the conversation, which sort of went in the same vein until he caught on. I can't say for sure, but I think from that day he made sure to actually listen to a song before he dedicated it to someone.
(I forgave him . He was very nice and cute and the only college boy I went out with who brought very good wine to dinner, instead of beer.)
The song that won't be named - Billy Joel
I am not going embed the next one, just link to it and you can listen at your own risk, because it is yet ANOTHER song by Billy Joel, and I'm sorry, but it is like the worst high school tripe set to music ever. Go ahead and guess who put this song on a tape for me and wrote out the lyrics and stuck it in a card to go with the tape? Go on.
That time I did break up with his sorry ass.
***
To end on a high note and prove that my heart isn't always three sizes too small, here is the one song that was offhandedly referred to as "you, then, now and later" on a CD mix (yes, we've moved forward in time and technology!). Now, anything by Kirsty MacColl hits the spot in general, but even I had to agree, this one just hit it a little more accurately and didn't make me want to stick a sharp pencil in my ear.
My Affair - Kirsty MacColl
My Affair - Kirsty MacColl
